from the inside out

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I have lost my foundation. My base, the concealer of the lines, the spots, evening tool of the uneven tone of my face has been misplaced, thrown away or left somewhere. So, the past couple of weeks I’ve gone back to the powder…the kind my grandma used to carry in her purse to dull the shine. I had two or three times I was in front of people, talking, being the focus of their eyes and I needed my foundation. All I could think is I bet they wonder why my face is so pale. I’m pretty sure though, they didn’t. Still, I needed my dewy foundation.

My eyes though were bluer and my lips were sort of a crimson hue against the powdery complexion, not the subtle presentable, but not glaringly made up face like usual. I just felt a little too visible…too on display. I prefer the “not sans makeup but simple face”. Silly, I know; but I felt like everybody noticed my face, my  blue eyes, my too red lips.

Never one to beg for heads to turn, I wanted to get back to subtle, necessary, just enough to be presentable face.

I went about my day on Tuesday, preparing for a long day, speech then late meeting, hair, makeup, outfit to last the duration. Stopping mid-morning to purchase stamps, check mail, I held the door for a woman pushing a cart with bags, an umbrella, a variety of stuff.

“Thank you, mornin’.” she said, head down. I hesitated because her cart was stuck, one of the wheels jammed. I reached down, helped her ease it in the door and her eyes met mine. “Thank you.”she said and smiled at me. “You’re welcome, have a good day.” I added.

She had beautiful eyes and hair pulled into a bun. Dressed in tennis shoes and simple clothes, she was making her daily trek downtown. I had seen her walking before; but had never had a chance to speak or to see her face, her condition…a growth of some sort. I think it might be called a gouter; but, something makes me hope we don’t use that word. I’m sure there’s a medical word for the protrusion that covered the entire side of her face. Yet, she smiled and met my eyes on a day like any and all of her days.

She rises every morning and she greets the day having looked into a mirror and accepted her face, her offering of herself to her day. Not, unlike me in preparing for the day, but with a malady more significant than misplaced cosmetic or too pale face.

And so, I stopped looking for my foundation and I have been looking for her. I want to happenstance have our paths cross. I want her lesson to me to be revisited, remembered. I want to know her story. I want her to raise her head, her eyes meet mine and for my face to say to her, “You are beautiful, from the inside out.” I hope to see her soon, I am looking for God to place her on my path to remind me of what beauty looks like.

People look at the outward appearance,  but the Lord looks at the heart.  I Samuel 16:7

One thought on “from the inside out

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